Memories of Ruthanne
An album of special memories from friends and family.
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Viewing messages 71 to 75.
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Eric Winer
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I first met Ruthanne about 18 months, a day or two after she had returned from vacation and learned that she had a recurrence of the cancer. Since then, I have had the honor of being Ruthanne's medical oncologist, her primary physician through this difficult ordeal. It was pleasure to get to know her, Bob, her parents, and many others. It would have been an even greater pleasure if the circumstance had been different or if there could have been some other outcome.
Ruthanne will be with me forever. It is not because she was young, or because she was a doctor, or because we had so much in common. It is because of the way she lived the last 18 months. She walked down two roads at the same time, and this is a feat that few can manage. On the one hand, she fought the cancer with all of her will and all of her might. She made it abdundantly clear to all around her, especially me, that she would do anyting to live an extra year, month, week, or day. She did not care about the extra time for herself; she wanted to be here for Bob, Nick, Laura, her parents, and the many others that she loved. She did not care about side effects, and certainly did not care about inconvenience. At the very same time, she calmly, thoughtfully, and deliberately accepted what was happenening and what the likely outcome would be. She was hopeful and honest at the same time. Most of all, she was peaceful. And it is this combination of traits and emotions that have been an extraordinary gift to all of those who have been around her and who love her. Her ability to navigate through and around her illness was astounding, and as much as it helped her, it helped all those around her.
Over the past week I have spoken about Ruthanne repeatedly. I have talked about this ability to walk two roads with friends, colleagues, and with several patients. I have not mentioned Ruthanne by name, but have talked about a remarkable woman who could fight with all her energy and at the same time be at peace. I will evoke this image again and again in the years ahead as I try to help others in similar circumstances.
I will miss Ruthanne -- her smile, her rosy complexion even when she was very ill, her intellect -- but most of all, I will miss her tremendous spirit.
17 November 2002
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Sue and Jim Barron and family
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Although we have only been neighbors for four years, Ruthanne and Bob have taught us alot about the meaning of life; enjoying the moment, valuing family and friends, being grateful for what you have and caring for others. Ruthanne's courage, strength and positive attitude will remain with us as we encounter life's challenges. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all.
17 November 2002
- Needham, MA
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Barbara Claff
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I first knew Ruthanne simply as Anne and Dick's daughter. My friendship with Anne began almost a quarter of a century ago through a group of five friends who became known as the BBAATS (Barbara, Barbara, Anne, Ann and Tina). We offered friendship to one of the group in a time of great need for her. As time passed we realized we all needed each other and the bond that formed between us to support each of us in our times of trial and tribulation.
During that time Dick became my eye doctor and, then eventually Ruthanne. I got to know Ruthanne as an outstanding physician, mother, daughter and wife.
Little did we BBATS know when we had our first lunch together many years ago that we would face with Ruthanne and her family this very difficult time. We all worried each step of the way and cheered when all seemed to be well. We
were all devastated when it was apparent that it was not.
Mark and I discovered what a fine cook Bob is and how devoted he and Ruthanne were to each other. We were privileged to have piano recitals by Nick and Laura who are very talented indeed and to witness through all of this Ruthanne's quiet, cheerful countenance.
Ruthanne was an extraordinary person and I am certain she touched all who knew her as she did the Claff family. We will never forget her or the shining example her entire family has been for all of us during this very sad time.
Our hearts go out to all of you.
17 November 2002
- Marion, MA
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Duncan Sings-Alone
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I first knew Ruthanne four years ago when she diagnosed my glaucoma. She was the perfect physician; sensitive, professional, obviously competent. Later, I had the privilege of knowing her outside her practice. This last Spring she arranged for me to tell stories at her daughter's public school. I knew That Ruthanne was gravely ill, but you would have never guessed it had you been there. Her face radiated the joy and excitement of a child. She enjoyed the event more than the children did. Many times during this last year, I marveled at her commitment to living exuberantly. Her mortality could not diminish her determination to glean the last ounce of joy from living.
Ruthanne was remarkable human being. I was telling an old Cherokee grandnmother about her. She said, "Sometimes, a person is bigger than life, a true Spirit among us." I could only nod, "yes."
Ruthanne made a big difference in my life. Spending time with her led me to adjust my own prioirities. I am grateful to have known her.
17 November 2002
- Upton, Mass
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Lynda and Dan Kilgore
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Ruthann and Bob and the children first entered our lives 6 years ago, when our daughter, Kim, had the honor of arriving in their family as a "temporary nanny", for the summer.
Not only was Kim immediately accepted as a family member, but both Ruthann and Bob "adopted us" as their "extended family", as we got to know them.
Less than a year later, Ruthann demonstrated the depth of both our new acquaintenship, and the depth of her giving nature, when I also ran into serious medical problems with my vision, and I was being given the "HMO run-around". Without hesitation, Ruthann brought me to her office, and saw to it that I received the best care available. To this day, I can thank the restoration of my eyesight to the timely and expert care given by this true professional and her colleagues.
There aren't many times in this life when you can say that you've encountered a true saint --- a loving wife and mother, and a consumate professional --- but we have lost one today, and she will never be forgotten.
17 November 2002
- Millbury, Mass.
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