Memories of Ruthanne
An album of special memories from friends and family.
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Viewing messages 56 to 60.
Kimberly J Van Zee
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Dear Ruthanne,
My dear friend. When I think of you, I am overwhelmed by a flood of jumbled memories, all held together by your beautiful and gracious presence.
I remember the first day I met you. It was during medical school orientation, on a sunny fall day, in the courtyard of Vanderbilt Hall, the med school dormitory. I was struck by your beaming smile and your blond hair shining in the sun. Little did I then know that I would be blessed with your smile for the next 19 years.
Your graciousness and generosity struck me immediately during those early days in medical school, as you hosted us at your apartment on a daily basis. Go Jane Fonda! We would all lie on your carpeted floor working our buns till we “felt the burn”! Then, we would be rewarded by a delicious, but always healthy dinner, whipped up in your effortless way. Your hospitality made us feel as if your apartment was home. And your practical, optimistic attitude kept us all working out even when the workload in med school might have otherwise precluded any such “optional” activities.
You became the center of our social life in medical school. I still always associate Thanksgiving with our 4 November birthdays (Bob, Judy, Caleb, mine) as well as a huge turkey dinner with all the trimmings in Waterville. You taught me that leftover turkey sandwiches really do taste better with cranberry sauce on them, and that you didn’t have to actually bake chocolate chip cookie dough. You also demonstrated that entertaining large numbers of people with no advance notice could be done painlessly, with grace and good cheer. Your organizational skills, being as extraordinary as they were, allowed nothing to be forgotten, and a fantastic holiday to be had by all. Your focus was always on others, making sure that everyone was comfortable and happy at all times. Your warmth made us feel so appreciated, special, and cared for. Your generous spirit and your gorgeous smile always were an inspiration to us all.
Yes, Ruthanne, you knew how to live life—you grabbed it with gusto! We had wonderful times, when, at the end of medical school you had the brilliant idea that we go to London for our dermatology rotation. What a hardship! Remember that during those long hours (about 9 till 3), we had to endure a morning tea, lunch, and English high tea! And how we struggled with what to do with those free afternoons and evenings in the beautiful May weather!
Later, as you became a mother and homemaker, in addition to clinician, researcher and teacher, I continued to be amazed by your organization and energy. Somehow, the rest of us struggled and stumbled as we tried to balance it all, while you seemed to graciously and effortlessly do it all. While my home wins the world record for clutter, yours is organized and efficient, with all photos in their proper places and all important phone numbers typed neatly by the phone. And all the while, you exuded that wonderful welcoming warmth for which you are so loved.
(see next message for continuation)
19 November 2002
- New York City
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The Zuckers
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We were married the same day, almost bought the same house, we share the same yard. While fences have gone up between nearly every house, ours has remained open. This is a perfect reflection of our relationship with Bob and Ruthanne over the years.
Our heart goes out to Nick, Laura and Bob. Ruthanne was a very special person and we feel blessed to have known her. She will always be a part of us.
19 November 2002
- Next Door
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Bob Stern
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To all of you who have shared your memories and messages on this site, I am writing to thank you for contributing to an amazing tapestry of tributes to Ruthanne. To all of you who attended yesterday's service, thank you for giving of your time and for sharing with us during the celebration and thanksgiving for the life of Ruthanne. For those of you who came to our house last week, thank you for filling the void with such incredible outpouring of love (and food). For those of you who have sent cards and letters, thank you for your kindness and beautiful words. To all of you who have provided my children and me with support, friendship, love, and laughs during this difficult time, thank you for being in our lives. For all of Ruthanne's friends, patients, colleagues, family, and neighbors, thank you for helping to keep her smile glowing and her spirit alive through the past 18 months.
Thank you all.
Bob
19 November 2002
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Diane Bennekamper & Lorraine Martin
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There are no words to adequately describe the unique spirit that Ruthanne was. She embodied a divine presence without even knowing it. And it is because of her loving, caring, adventurous and courageous spirit that she was able to leave a piece of her heart with each one of us. If ever there was a gift that anyone might treasure in his or her lifetime, it is the gift of having known and experienced Ruthanne’s spirit. During every family event and vacation, Ruthanne will be sadly missed; however, we will remember how much she delighted in every day and will be buoyed in our enjoyment by that recollection. It was poignant and precious to support Ruthanne as she prepared her remarks for the Memorial Service and it was an honor and a privilege to participate in that time of celebration. For all that Ruthanne was to us and to so many others, we give thanks to God.
Diane Bennekamper and Lorraine Martin
19 November 2002
- Freeport, Maine
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Marguerite Gauthier Gregoire
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A letter to Ruthanne,
It's 2:30 PM, Monday, November 18, 2002. My heart is broken with sadness at not being able to attend your Memorial and sharing with family and friends the celebration of your life. Yet, in my own special way, I will be very close to you. I will hold my own private Memorial and I will remember ... And what better way than to send you a farewell letter. We will have come full circle.
I have just lit a candle next to a photo of you and I, hugging each other, which was taken at Ophthalmic Consultants of Boston on a visit on March 17, 1999.
Our beautiful friendship began when I first met you and your dad at Charles River Plaza in Boston when I had eye surgery in both eyes in February 1996 and September 1997 for advanced glaucoma.
I remember vividly your dad saying: when you first arrive, you're a patient; when you leave, you're family. How true! How comforting!
When you walked in the OR at the Massachusetts Eye and Ear Infirmary in Boston, first you greeted me with that radiant smile of yours. Then, you said, very calmly but very firmly, you do not talk, you do not move, or else, there will be a major earthquake. I took you very seriously and I didn't move for almost 2 1/2 hours. I put myself in another dimension and Wow! What a success it was. You and your dad had just performed a miracle. You saved my sight.
Then, I learned, between my two surgeries, the devastating news of your breast cancer. I identified so much with you because I had been there. I, too, had breast cancer. I prayed, I cried, I put your name on a prayer list, I asked for a miracle. But, perhaps the real miracle is the way we learn to cope in the face of adversity, through faith and serenity. And you did it with such dignity. As you said so beautifully in one of your letters: you know what they say about a silver lining to every cloud.
Then, when I last heard from you on October 10 when you asked your mother to write to me, I was reminded once again of your strength, your selflessness, and your courage.
I thank your mother for her graciousness and, yes, for that apprehensive phone call on November 8. I'm a Canadian, but must say I feel a little bit (a lot), American, just by knowing you.
I will treasure our letters over the years forever. They will be a constant reminder of our unique friendship. I will also enjoy reading again your yearly "Happy Holidays" updates. They were filled with so much love, joy, and optimism. They reflected what a family is all about. You and your family are an inspiration to us all. And those family picture. They made me laugh, they made me cry.
I have read "Tuesdays with Morrie", not realizing then that the story takes place in West Newton. I was deeply moved by this book. Perhaps they should write a book of your all too short life, also sharing with us your life's great lessons.
It's winter here already. Lots of snow... The sun is shining, the Heavens are rejoicing because they have gained an angel with the most incredible smile.
Ruthanne, I applaud you for your extraordinary courage in the midst of the unthinkable, through your faith and your strength.
If there's one thing I've learned, it's that our beautiful memories will always live on in my heart.
As the old song goes: I'll be seeing you.
Love always,
Margeurite
1555 Meadowfield Place
Ottawa, Ontario
K1C 5W1
(613) 824-5360
19 November 2002
- Ottawa, Canada
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